Thoughts.

Written at Friday, June 6, 2008 | back to top

i wonder if its really my stm or what..

it is dawning on me that i know not what the meaning of fun is..

in the past,i would have wrote in my blog entries that that particular day was fun..but now i doubt i can see the word-fun here already..

my life's just that monotonous huh?..

maybe its me..

maybe there are many people out there who knows not the meaning of fun..

or is it the meaning of fun has far exceeded our expectations?..

i just keep having this emptiness in my heart ever since legion just started to become extremely shaky ..

and it just sinks further gradually with the closure of it..

i admit,i have been trying to fill up this emptiness and i guess i have used the wrong way many a times to do so..

instead of filling up the emptiness,it merely gave me a period of happiness and more sadness and sian-ness..

and what i have used to fill up the emptiness-wordly things and some fantasies(i guess)..

世上没有后悔药

时光更不可能倒流

its really time i snap out of that emptiness..

jonathan told me to pray so that my spiritual life would be better..

it is time that i should start praying so as to be closer to God because i finally realise that this emptiness cant be filled up by them..

didnt my cat class already taught me that..i guess i have forgot them or choose to let it slowly sink down to some inner part of me where it is really gone forever..

God and Mother Mary..they have been missing a great part in my life spiritually..

because physically,im always church since my parents make sure i go..

first things first,CONCENTRATE at mass sylvia..

ohya,here's something i took from his blog..i found it very meaningful;)..
"The Need for Discernment
May. 27th, 2008 at 9:38 PM
Mankind's perpetual search in his life is to attain happiness. This thirst for happiness is part of his human nature. Thus, Man, from the very beginning of his existence, utilises much of his effort and resouces to roam this earth in search for true happiness.

Unfortunately for Mankind, having had fallen from the original state of grace, have forgotten that true happiness and the fullness of this very happiness can only come from participating in the absolute Will of God.

As a result, Man's thirst for happiness leads him to search far and wide to seek out happiness.

Quite often, Man is deceived by what surrounds him to believe that the many worldly things would be able to bring him the fullness of joy.

Man however, in his grave thirst, impatience, and deception on what is True, has led himself to believe that in the desert, his thirst can be quenched by swallowing sand. While we may attain happiness from such things, our happiness is but for a moment and, far from being made whole, we find ourselves suffering from a grave emptiness that is totally devoid of God and His joy and peace.

Swallowing sand may bring about some form of satisfaction, but in the end, we fall ill, and our thirst grows all the more worst. Eventually, the thirst deforms into a twisted obsession that finds empty satisfaction from anything that could possibly satisfy - even if it is gravely harmful to one's body or soul.

Sometimes, we think that we are doing God's Will, but the truth of the matter is that we are merely doing our will, under the disguise of the divine Will. In the end, when we come to our senses, we would find ourselves sorely disappointed for having deceived our very own selves and find that we have lost the happiness that we tried so hard to attain.

It is, therefore, through discernment of what our loving God - who wants only what is best and good for us - would we be able to walk through the path of eternal life, and enter into a life of perpetual joy.

But just because God is invisible and mysterious does not mean that His ways are unknown to us.

He made us in His image and likeness, and thus we have the intellect and will, and also the grace to enter into prayer with Him, to be able to discern what His Will is. For God in His great mercy and goodness, has made it such that He who cannot be fully comprehended, has made His Will knowable to all of us who sincerely seek to know it.

And thus, if we truly desire to attain true happiness - and the fullness of happiness for that matter - we ought to enter into deep prayer and contemplation with Him, so as to discern what He truly wants us to do.

The answer may not be immediate, but it will come - in God's time.

Time is not of the essence for God, for He is outside of time. Rather, it is a matter of how ready our hearts are to accept His Will, and to joyfully carry it out. Sometimes, what God wants us to do seems just too much for us. If He were to immediately reveal to us what we have to do, we may find it terribly difficult, and we might end up being repulsed from it. Therefore, the God who knows us fully, and knows what is best for us, sometimes does not reveal everything immediately.

He leads us through life to slowly discover more of who we are, and to uncover what we are meant to do, and ultimately, what He wants us to do.

Patience is, therefore, most essential if we were to ever come to a complete understanding of what He wants us to do.

One of the greatest tragedies to happen in our time now is that many people make decisions without discerning about what God truly wants for them. People have this misconception that discernment is merely for vocations. That is not true. God wishes for us to discern and know what He Wills, so that His Will may be done on Earth as it is in Heaven. And that means discerning for every choice that we have in life. From discerning our vocation, to discerning the person to marry, to discerning the job to take, or the educational route to take up.

It does not even have to be such great choices in life that requires discernment. Even in the smallest of decisions, we should discern to come to understand what God intends for us.

If we are constantly in a state of discernment of His ways and His Will for us, we would daily be contemplating deeply about God, and grow into a deeper level of intimacy with Him.

What else could bring us even more joy than to grow closer to the very God who is the source of everlasting happiness?

Through discernment, we are allowing God to give us directions in the desert to find rest at an oasis, or better still, to a freshwater lake, where we make drink and be satisfied. But this time, by following His Divine Will, we would be led to drink of the waters of everlasting life! Waters so satisfiying, that we would never grow thirsty again. Our joy will be made complete, our being would have fulfilled its purpose, and we would be forever satisfied and in peace."

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i thought u wld be one of the few ppl who wouldnt think that way..am i wrong to hav tat kind of thinkin..

then again,if i were u,i guess it wld be hard not to hav tat kind of thinkin:X..