humph

2010-01-01T20:38:00.003+08:00

i haven posted in such a long while..
i guess this whole blog can be considered a dead one,even to the extent tat it may nv be revived..
>.<
happy new yr everyone!!
---------
im seriously gettin lazier to blog..
ohwell,juz take it that tis blog's really dead and that i wont be bloggin until i feel like it..

2009-11-22T21:55:00.002+08:00

ocip's 2moro..
*depressed*
and i noe there's gonna be cats..

ohwell,at least i wont get chased by them tis time round or at least i hope i wont be..

2009-11-16T23:48:00.004+08:00

this post is a damn late..
but aft u read e contents,i guess u can figure out it is for u..
aft attendin last last's wk's lom meetin at jonathan's pdm..i cant help but thank you..
im oso grateful for knowin u..
ur the one who brought me back to lom yet perhaps causin urself to be hurt
and u did it in such a subtle way i cant express enough thanks
honestly speakin,if not for u,endless amounts of jonathan's words wld hav nv been able to make e first step
and thanks for being there to take the first step with me
i duno if u noe this: it really meant loads
and yet when i needed to leave coz i realise i made a wrong mistake,u still accepted me for who i am and stood by me for makin such a decision
u didnt added any pressure on me
i really duno if u will ever read this post
but if u ever do,can u lemme noe?
-----------------------------------------------
on e verge of another argument
different environment..so what?
i juz dun wan be hurt once more
and i believe jonathan wont wan me to be hurt once more..
he had to help to pick me up another time..
isnt its damn wat to noe and get hurt once more and yet still need him to help me out of it?
a difference in language wont make much difference
its not that i dun trust YOU not being there for me when i fall
but has it ever occur to YOU if i fall,there will be even more quarrels?
-----------------------------------------------
太多疑问知道答案又如何
心痛比快乐更真实

2009-11-13T22:01:00.002+08:00

happy for chad;D
relief bout my results^^
and everyone is still in cj and we'll still see mx in aj uniform next yr~
-------------------------------
i serisly think im damnit irritatin,or even to the extent of being naggy coz of ocip..
and even cause may,suat,and huisian so much trouble
T.T
:X

i really wish tat tis is part of me pms-ing..
but..
it juz aint..
;/

2009-11-05T16:18:00.002+08:00

he's the most thoughtful guy i have ever met..
coz i get to enjoy all e lectures in e world..and im awfully thankful for it..
ohmann,you noe me so well..how do u noe tat's e thing im so lacking?

since im juz typed that,i really really wanna say a big thank you to e 16 ppl who are goin for ocip..
oh btw..17 of us will be in batam fr 23-26

2009-11-04T02:00:00.002+08:00

就像树叶在没通知下落了地，有些事，有些行动，不太需要太实际的表现也晓得会发生的。
若拖延是种解脱，那蒙骗该是价值连城的毫无价值吧？

do you even know this post is for you?

故事就说到这里就算你们再好奇
我想说的都已说完了其余是秘密

2009-10-30T17:46:00.002+08:00

woah..its been more than a mth since i last updated..
im really thankful for my results yet kinda confused at wat i shld do,coz what i wan to do so persistently at e start of e yr can nv come true now..
-.-
but at least,WE MADE IT ZHIYOONG!^.^
i bet as much as she's puzzled about wat happen to e usual stuff she wld remark bout me,im juz as puzzled too..
ohwell..
and im hungry;/..
-----------------------------------------------------------------
things juz always happen in a cycle,huh?
away and at a distance.
some shaky situation.
twice.gone.
wat's another more?
i dun tell YOU..its wld juz be another quarrel,wouldnt it?
----------------------------------------------------------------
im happy yOu did well..
i realise i need to tell yOu sth or at least i feel i shld let yOu noe..
but then again,perhaps at this point of time,yOu wont need to noe bout it alrdy..

2009-09-24T00:00:00.002+08:00

next yr..
my class's gonna 1T sth sth..
or not u will see me in casual clothes comin back to cj to visit jeanette and etc..

actually its not a bad thing aft all..
at least i get to work durin e hols..
im assured of a diploma cert n can work aft 3 years..

mayb im juz destined to be a student care t'cher..

coz seriously,e thought of still being able to continue with 4h2s next yr's ridiculous
e thought of being able to promote alrdy makes me apprehensive..
i cant rmb anythin for hist..
i dun pay attention durin maths class..
i hate lit to e max..and im so skilful in misreading and awkward expression..
im lost in econs class..

nowait,i shld try to think on e positive side..
*think think think*
i really cant..im sorry..
ehwait,i did..i thought of e bright side of my life next yr..

jeanette,we shld juz carry out e plan of lookin for a tree..
but can we borrow nds fr mx n u bring ur laptop along..

i juz suddenly rmb bout a gal fr agnes' sec sch drownin in a place not so far away~

2009-09-23T00:57:00.002+08:00

这一刻突然觉得好熟悉
像昨天今天同时在放映
我这句语气原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据
差一点骗了自己骗了你

爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气
但我无法完全交出自己

努力为你改变
却变不了预留的伏线
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼我还看得见

可惜不是你
陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你
牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔

那一段我们曾心贴着心
我想我更有权利关心你
可能你已走进别人风景
多希望也有星光的投影

努力为你改变
却变不了预留的伏线
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上我双眼我还看得见

可惜不是你
陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你
牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
还能温暖我胸口

2009-09-12T18:36:00.000+08:00

im juz too lazy..so i guess i would be better off w/o e tagboard..
so then e lazy me wont need to reply tags>.<

2009-09-10T13:39:00.000+08:00

ahhh..im hungry..
but im really lazy..
heh
i realise my laziness extends to bloggin too..coz im too lazy to type more><

2009-09-03T01:26:00.001+08:00

its not like anyone will see this now..
if im quiet and not sayin anythin later in e day..
take it that im pms-ing(even tho its 2mths away)

when thigs pile up above one another..
building a wall that surrounds me
so that i cannot breathe
cannot see
cannot hear
cannot feel
and hiding in it is the best idea

2009-08-30T23:07:00.000+08:00

friday
it really juz feels damn weird..
i really nv expect u to enter,let alone saw it..
im at a loss for words..
i think all i could do is juz to say im
sorry

2009-08-15T17:46:00.000+08:00

i juz finished lit..
YIPEE
YIPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!
and suat..it took less than a week to be completed;D
--------
ystd was super funny~
;X

2009-08-10T13:04:00.000+08:00

i guess u will find out..
it was actually a matter of sooner n later..
but well,i didnt quite expect tat it was gonna be this soon..
ohwell,now tat things seem to be turnin out good for you,when u come to noe e truth,it wont be so terrible..
perhaps with u not sendin e email,i shld hav alrdy know tat things was takin a turn for you~
-----------------
aiyah see lah..now im usin e word 'terrible'
;D

i told u tat once made a decision,i would not like go regret it..
but can i take back my words?
i feel tat i hav brought u inconvenience..
if it was someone else,you wont hav need to face this,would you?

Belike for want of rain, which I could well
Beteem them from the tempest of my eyes.

2009-08-05T20:02:00.001+08:00

blogger is goin crazy again..-.-

ystd
tat was juz mere coincidence..

but somehow it felt weird when suddenly it dawned on me tat i'll nv know wat is goin in ur life anymore n im pretty much in no position to ask..

today
i PASSED napfa^.^
as to how i did it,it really wasnt any hard work of trainin
and mrs tan's reason for my shockin and outstandin performance,well~~~
;D

2009-08-02T01:26:00.002+08:00

i really dun think ur ever come here anymore..
i really duno how u will react to e truth..
i rather keep e truth fr u if possible..
u tell me dun bother bout u..but there's tis thing called conscience tat pretty much pricks me..
even if i do not directly tell you,actions speak a thousand words..
by sayin all these,i really dun expect to seek ur forgiveness,but rather..
but rather,kae i really duno..
m i waitin for ur email?
or r u waitin for me to msg u and ask u bout e email?
or is it juz tat u alrdy feel e truth and dun wan nor bother to send out e email?

2009-08-02T00:42:00.004+08:00

i juz wanna say im sorry for agony caused

2009-08-02T00:37:00.002+08:00

i think im gonna sound like a broken recorder in time to come-.-
and u aint listenin..rahhs
;/

------

yipee..blogger's functionin properly again,and allowin me to change e colours;D

2009-07-30T20:08:00.001+08:00

so many things hav happened these few days..
im really glad i hav left lom..
ty and his great idea-.-
and and and..
my sbj can get 150?its has been a long whle since tis has been so..
i oso ran continuously for 2.4..tho er,huisian n i ran short of one round?><
MAY..we muz perserve and run continuously e next time kae^^

I REALLY REALLY DUN WANNA BE PCCG.
im afraid i cant cope with studies..
im afraid i wont hav personal time alrdy..
i dun think im up to e task like serisly..

2009-07-26T13:47:00.003+08:00

rahhhs..
i hate hist..
i hate lit..
and can i dun study for hist test..
coz i dun feel like it..somemore i duno head duno tail..

2009-07-22T20:41:00.002+08:00

CB..

its only today tat i learnt fr u tat FB is PART OF HW..

u and ur partiality..i totally appreciate and understand it..

2009-07-17T23:45:00.001+08:00

KENNETH AND LEON ARE SO SWEET TOWARDS CHIA SUAT NING

THEY RISKED THEIR LIFE FOR HER!: D

2009-07-17T23:05:00.002+08:00

i was on e 963 bus aft changin bus at e place where sandra wld drop..

and i boarded e bus and saw two juniors..

well,im not personally close to them..but i recognise them n knew their names..

e younger one was shuwei's buddy..and till now she's juz as cute;D

time serisly flies..fr e time when we were p5 and met our buddy sisters to tis day..

close to 5yrs hav passed..and bfor we noe it,they r in sec 1 and we r in j1..

i kinda miss my p1 buddy sister..

i rmb e time when we used to take e same sch bus..

it was damn cool lah..coz she started out at e same student care as me..then later coz aft knowin me,i got her to transfer over to e one tat i was in..

and we were in e same student care..

she envied my long hair..and when i went back to visit my student care(i think)2 yrs back,she has her own long hair..and she still rmbs me^^

and she being e smart and hardworkin gal tat i noe,wld be in some good sch n doin very well~

lookin at the two juniors made me thought bout some stuff..

bout my sis and i..bout my sec sch days..

i rather those sec sch days..no doubt i hav been through some of e worst patch..but it was somehow manageable..

and i really ought to be closer to my sis><

----------------------------------

i really wish there's some device to turn time back..i wanna re-visit so many periods of time..

2009-07-17T20:34:00.002+08:00

i shall blog first bfor go do cca stuff..

IM DAMN UNHAPPY I PASSED MY LIT!

now i dun get to drop alrdy..

(RAHHS WATEVER I JUZ TYPED BOUT DROPPIN LIT JUZ DISAPPEARED SUDDENLY NOW I HAV TO RETYPE)

i was scared when i get back e results..i really expect myself to get U grade but oso need to be mentally prepared coz i hav nv fail lit in my life..

and i got a shock when kaizhen told me i got D..

where's my U grade;/

i really thought i was goin to get U grade then i can get to drop..

actually i alrdy plan to drop right aft midyrs..so tat's why when i go for mr pang's lesson,my face even more long,even more sian..

and i didnt bother doin his hw..kaizhen,tat's why i oso dun bother rmberin tat he has hw for us^^

lols i actually didnt even wan to go n copy e lect notes tat i missed out durin orals coz i tot wat's e point of copyin if i was gonna drop lit anw..if not for kaizhen,i wldnt hav e notes..

YIPEE!zhiyoong got 2 marks higher than me for lit: D..

sakae treat comin along my way~~~~~~

there's no way im gonna forget its=p

now i serisly gotta tune my mindset back to doin WIL?..but i serisly hate WIL..

no wait,more like i hate tat exam..duno wat is goin on nor wat im writin?

i dun mind attendin mr pang's class..but i cant stand takin e paper..

-------------------------------------------------

i cant believe i told e person who sat on my right today wateva i said..

sth's def wrong with me><

-------------------------------------------------

was it a right thing to do to hav been in there..

why do i hav a weird feelin bout it..

and e stuff i heard ex long time back bout u bein there,turns out not to be true..

then what stuff r u in now?

2009-07-15T19:27:00.003+08:00

i hav enough of you..

i havent use e f word on anyone bfor..and u dun wan be e first one to get it fr me..

evrytime u got a prob u come find me..

its not tat im irritated by you findin me,its juz tat ur demandin,unreasonable and make it obligin for me to help you

who m i to you tat im obliged to help you..

it was thanks to u tat caused me to hav e notion..

to lost confidence in ;X
no doubt im grateful for tat period of time of u being there for me..

but aint u takin things a lil too far..

its gonna be two yrs since evrythin ended alr..

i think i shld juz start prayin u get single digit and go to ur tj..

coz i will die if u ever come cj..

wat's more ur so gonna come to tis cca..

u still do affect my decision in a negative way,you noe..

its not tat im awkward to meet you..but i dun wan my life to be shorten

rahhs..juz eff off..

2009-07-14T21:57:00.001+08:00

i noe u will nv come here..
so i can say wateva i wan to..
---------------

i rmb tellin u tat its hard for u to understand why i wan quit,neither do i wan nor expect u to understand..
u will nv understand coz there's no way im gonna reveal my past to u..
u will nv understand coz i wont reveal my fears to u,be it rational or irrational..
and in actual fact,why i wanna quit is coz im scared..not juz scared tat lom will close down..
but im scared hist will repeat itself..
i scared i will get hurt all over again..and tis time,its juz a feelin of mine tat it will be worse..
----------------
i was thinkin..if i had been too selfish><..

2009-07-14T21:51:00.002+08:00

by2 - 不够成熟

我想我还是不够成熟
还达不到你的要求
我真的没有想的太多
只是怀念
你走以后
离开难道真的是解脱
难道真的要事过境迁了以后才懂
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛假装什么伤都没有
真的不难过笑着和你挥挥手

...............

如果有一刻我们有缘在见
你会不会想起说过的永远

2009-07-13T20:33:00.002+08:00

was juz lookin at e profile..and saw sth tat wld be struck out in a matter of time..

ohmann..can we juz hurry get this over and done with..

and why doesnt anyone like really approve n thinks tat plan of mine is chao good

要继续很累

要放手不见得简单得多

2009-07-13T20:27:00.002+08:00

i realised sth..

jovi always has e most comforting words;D

whatver stuff i wanna listen to,he juz somehow able to tell me..

and that serisly sets me at ease..

thanks aeroplane..

uncle,and for the first time since i knew him,he nv zhong se qing you^-^

2009-07-11T03:02:00.003+08:00

i realised sth..
somehow i hav lost that small confidence i have in ;/..

i shld try not to think bout it..

tho i duno how not thinkin bout it helps..

and i btr reply tags soon><

2009-07-06T01:00:00.001+08:00

a super short post bfor searchin for food..

i noe i shldnt be such a wet blanket or pessimistic but i cant help feelin tis way..

2009-07-04T23:19:00.002+08:00

ystd
end of exams!;D
stayed back for to photocopy but left earlier for ms tan:D
then went to :X and aft tat met up with huilin for sakae~
lols..either they were too lazy or we muz be damn pro coz tat wasabi went past us four timesXD..
and then coz i got a cravin for a drink and there wasnt any coffee bean at taka so agnes accompanied me to cafe cartel and got a coffee drink^.^
thanks~~
i noe ur nice..

today
lols..i kinda cant believe i went to serangoon early in e morn lah..
aiyah,but evryone all was busy so i cldnt camp at tat area and had to go down to ps and wait like some fool for duno how many hrs;/
finally ruizhi arrived at 3 plus..followed by kangwei..and may and amy
erm..serisly u all wldnt wanna noe wat kangwei wore:x
and we ended e meetin so i cld go church in time..yays!
for e first time,i took verbal directions and walked to somewhere pretty unknown alone and got there in one piece^_^

2009-07-01T21:02:00.002+08:00

juz changed blogskin!..

well..at least e whole background in black colour allows me to :X

aiyah..shit..i forgot wat i wan say again..

i shall go n watch tv instead~

2009-06-27T23:02:00.002+08:00

i have a queasy feeling about it..

even though i noe wat e outcome will be like..

2009-06-27T22:57:00.001+08:00

歌曲：灵魂的重量
歌手：张惠妹

我喊停了　~~我不玩了~~

在提前离席以后

是一个黑洞

你们碰头　你们哭了

迅速冰冷的躯壳

快的连我　都傻了

LA~WOO　太迟了

LA~WOO　谁的错

模煳了

在我选择告别以后

原来刚要开始疼痛

谁骗我　只不过　睡着了

当我真的告别以后

真的不像　诗人形容

只不过　消失了

灵魂的　几公克

....

我后悔了　回不去了

伤害被我扩大了　愧疚都多了

~~这次聚会　我静止了~~

短短一秒的冲动

徒留牆上的停格

LA~WOO　太迟了

LA~WOO　没想过　捨不得

2009-06-17T23:41:00.002+08:00

ever had tat day when u do nothin much but r juz still so tired and screwin things up even e simplest thing of ironin clothes..

sth like tis juz happen n while ironin clothes,a funny thing happened..

i made my shirt chao ta le..n der's a patch><..

lol i wonder if its coz i spent too much time watchin lan qiu huo or is my mind distracted?*bite lips*

bfor ironin tat shirt,i was ironin another shirt..

and i was ironin over e buttons..

suddenly i realise tat one of e buttons had come out..but e centre of e button's missin?!?!

er,e centre of e button got stuck on e uniform..and i had to get it out..

so now,being e lazy me,i shall juz use may's method of solvin fallen-out button..

2009-06-05T18:34:00.005+08:00

today
woke up early for hist make up class..
i cant believe it la..i hav been sleepin at 12 and e latest i ko was 2 at e ocip trip..
and even tho i slept at 10 last night,i still felt damn ex tired when i woke up at 6.30++ tis morn..

may n i reached sch early;D..and we contemplated to do e piece of hist hw or not..
finally coz smallnic didnt brin his ws,we decided we shld juz tell ss tat we didnt noe need to brin e ws..

aft class ended,headed to su-a-ning's hse..and later met kz at gwc..
i think im pretty dumb..i shld hav asked if got stud meal sia..
aft lunch we studied..and i finished my parametric eqn^.^
im damn proud of myself considerin e fact tat i forgot bout wat happen in e lect liao since it was ages ago..

and we had coffee bean..double choc fr coffee bean^^..
it has been a damn long time since i had sth fr coffee bean..
e last time i went there was with jov la which is like beginnin of last yr?lol..

i realise tat indonesian coins can stand on its own..and i still hav quite a bit of rupiah notes..
aft 5 days of lookin at big amt of money..im damn happy to see small figures..
and wat suat said bout carryin a box of notes is sumwhat true..coz at e end of e trip,e wallet really felt damn flat..

2009-06-05T18:17:00.002+08:00

back and settled fr goin out..
ocip trip
day 1:reached e ferry trip somewhat late and jeanette waited for me;D..then we reached there,we went for lunch and went to st theresa's orphanage(i think e spellin muz be wrong again)..
i didnt quite hav any expectation of e orphanage..but juz tat it looks very erm..i oso duno how to describe..
its serisly sth tat u will nv expect to see in singapore..
even st theresa's home "pales in comparison"..
agnes u can get wat i mean..
so we went to interact with e kids and being how anti-social im..it was kinda hard..
it took quite a bit bfor we manage to play frisbee with them..

ohmann,at tis rate,my hand's gonna break n im lazy><..

day 2:cementin!!.. its damn fun coz its somewhat like clay and i gotta get to cement e ground with my hand.. and may,yee gin,jeanette,big nick and i poured excess cement so e whole floor will forever hav white marks tat we leave behind.. and i still dun get it why we can breathe when we pour water into e cement we were so tired n sian fr paintin tat we even gave ourseleves indonesian names..lol..

day 3:paintin e door frame+interact with kids nicholas keep snatchin e paintbrush fr us lah..but its damn fun to paint and ex tirin..

day 4:last day at e orphanage.. more paintin and tho it was e last hr but e departure was saddenin;/..

day 5:shoppin.. jeanette and i serisly had e most stuff and we had e biggest bag.. its damn paiseh la><..

thru out e time i was there..i had an immense fear of kuching and anjing.. there was 3 or 4 dogs and 2 cats..damn scary right?like wherever u go muz be alert tat there wasnt any nearby.. and lucky i got jeanette and may for protection.. ~~may~~mali ah!i peifu u bout u gettin over ur fear of e anjing la..

and coz they knew bout it..and used it to scare me so i even did exercise there la-.-..

2009-05-30T02:22:00.002+08:00

its 2.22 alrdy..i serisly shld get started with foldin clothes while watchin bqnw and packin for ocip..
rahhs..i dun feel like goin now..
i hav tis feelin tat im gonna be pangseh to a certain extent
mayb im juz scared i will be pangseh..
and my skin's current givin me sum prob-.-..

thanks kaizhen for waitin;D
and tonight was a crazy night rushin down to srt..tat place's so wu-lu..and clara was leadin me to get to e place in one piece..we even cause e car to hoot at us while dashin across e road..
kaizhen u practised buildin up ur stamina..while i practised runnin shuttle run juz now with those short distance runninXD..

aft tis whole experience of dashin across e road..e best way to die is still to die sittin under a tree and waitin for it to fall on u..

im so glad i survived thru e show..when e show started,i thought i cld hav died coz i serisly tot tat e whole play wld be those women talkin and talkin non-stop..
and my stomach was grumblin..and zhi yoong actually heard it..
e best part is..he tot tat it was some rat on his right><><

::there was no way i cld hav avoided u?::

2009-05-24T00:48:00.002+08:00

lol..guess wat,till now i haven start writin my lit essay yet..
and i take damn ex long to write..
im not surprise durin lit exam,u can juz see sumone slackin n stonin into e air coz take too long to think n rather not write liao..
rahhs..i dun look like a eng lit student
my eng sucks with my gp being like e worst in class..
wat m i doin here mann..
i keep doubtin if i hav even made e right choice la..
or was it in another moment of impluse tat happened 5 yrs back..

anw..today..
went with tiara for e hist lecture at dunman high..
dunman high gives e ppl e antique feelin coz it has those chairs tat u see in antique places?
and ms soh actually mistook MI students for cj ones..(lol..and i actually thought i wld end up in MI for a period of time bfor results were released)..
im e biggest slacker there la..
e professor talked for bout 1.5 h..and i slept for 1 hr plus..
luckily e body woke up in time and i took e 1st pg of tiara's notes and copied for a while..
and when e lecture ended,i at least had one side of foolscap paper^^..

aft e lecture,it was break..
we didnt manage to get any eclair;/

then it was sum video on vietnam war..serisly e only thin tat is vivid in my head's e video..coz i didnt sleep at all..
and e scenes in e video are very gruesome..coz they were showin e part bout e gal who had much of her skin burnt and etc..

lastly,we ended with Q&A session..and i was bout to enter into dreamland when they announced it was time to go home>;(
while waitin for my parents to fetch me,i was noticin pj ppl..
wld i hav been able to adapt if i had chosen there instead?..or mayb e grass is always greener on e other side luh..

i shldnt hav cared bout it at all fr e very start right?

2009-05-23T23:08:00.002+08:00

i doubt u will ever come to tis blog so i guess i can write it here n if u ever come,then..er,when tat day comes then i shall think bout it..
sumhow i juz cant believe tat u actually ask me to tell u tat ur wrong..its like,is tat really wat u wan?if so,why then u tell me u dun believe tat i wanna quit coz i feel like it..
YA I ADMIT,I WANNA QUIT NOT COZ I FEEL LIKE IT BUT BECOZ OF OTHER REASONS..
但说了又怎样？你会信吗？想必，你只会认为我过度迷信。
and even talk me out of it n i guess u hav a chance in doin so..
u asked me again if im angry?i wont say tat im angry but kinda cek..cek at e fact tat u actually msg me “i re-read liao…so?”erm,imo,its like wth,i serisly duno wat to reply..
and now tat things hav come to this stage,i really wonder if u wan cont legion..
promise me sth if u ever read tis post,dun cont legion coz of e exco position kae..imo,der’s no point in doin so and i dun wan another person to be disillusioned juz like wat ended up to me..
and then now u oso seem like ur avoidin me?..
tis shld be Good:i dun talk to me.u dun talk to me.and we pretend like tis whole thin nv happen n u go be ur pres n i be my non-member.

i shld hv nv said anythin.
i shld hv nv join.
i shld hv juz listened.
perhaps all these r goin thru ur mind as well?

AMOS ARE U SERISLY REALLY THINKIN OF WINNIN ECO-CHALLENGE?
im oso thinkin of winning oso BUT ONLY IN MY DREAMS..
i'll ONLY RUN IN ALERT CITY!

2009-05-20T20:30:00.002+08:00

就是开不了口，我要告诉

YOU!

YOU!!

YOU!!!

的话。。

2009-05-20T20:07:00.002+08:00

YIPEEE..e deadline for lit is postponed to next mon..

MR PANG'S A NICE T'CHER;D

and that's best thing tat happen today..

last period was lit n ZHI YOONG,i wan kill u-.-..

i was damn awake alrdy..u didnt need to help me to stay awake,besides i got like half of e words tat i duno how to pronounce..

u shld hav helped kaizhen la..she looked and was so sleepy^.^

i was damn happy and relieved tat e stuff needed to be read was short but sumone suan me..and i gave a look which attracted a weirder look from mr pang..

i think he thinks i was thinkin wrong..

tis kind of person who's dumb in lit where can think so fast and noe tat its actually related to sth sick right?..

like chad,i miss stc days when we go e army stuff..

but serisly its super propaganda-ish..

2009-05-18T01:06:00.002+08:00

i didnt noe tat black and green are such significant colours and i only noe it aft suat was explainin..

lol..and a random word came to my mind-INTEGRITY

hmm,but i dun quite noe if e spellin is right or not><

and e phone call with suat ning made me not sleepy:D

GREAT!!i haven touched my lit hw..and its due on er,i dun even noe?

sylvia's goin to lose her sleep for e next few daysT.T

Summarized;

2009-05-10T19:47:00.001+08:00

Sylvia says;

-10++at least my IC is intact so i can go back 100 bucks..
- strawberry shortcake its damn hard to bend posb card, let alone burn it=p

summarized by xxxxxxxx

2009-05-02T01:35:00.001+08:00

thurs
i think im super sway lah..i can get picked twice durin e two hist lessons to ans qn-.-..
and may n i were still sayin when go lt,sit in e centre will be best coz they cant check ur ans..
rahhs..
anw,dinner time was nice;D..
heh i too tired to go on with details..

fri
juz had a good rest aft comin back fr camp..
i duno y im damn tired even tho e camp's slack..and e camp's not bad except for sumone makin me feel guilty..

2009-04-25T23:00:00.003+08:00

zhi xing was askin me to remove sum stuff fr e blog layout..

so i decided to be guai and do it aft watchin bai quan nu wang;D..

either im damn dumb duno how to put it in or else,zhi xing's too smart liao..

i juz realised tat der's aliteration in wat i say^^..

i guess other than aliteration,i cant spot stuff..ohwell im damn tempted not to do e stwopit lit essay;/..

2009-04-22T18:08:00.002+08:00

rahhhhsss..i juz feel sway..
zhi xing,its none of ur fault lah..
meet u another time ye?..
jiayou for ur exams kae;D

help me tell jiayi to work hard for ahem..as for vince,he reminds me of sumone lol..

also,e sweets tat our age like apparently is stuff they dun like?..

e innocence of e kids touched me..
when they knew tat i lost my wallet,a kind soul brought my bag in..
and when i went back in to search once more,many crowd around askin me to check again n one even ask if i lost it durin recess..
lol,well,tho it speaks bout their life..but their kind gesture touched me..

bzse doesnt seem so bad and stud care t'cher is pretty nice as well..

ystd was ben n jerry free cone's day!!^^

e truth is i only went for two rounds..mx n i queued for bout 1 n a half hour to get to flavours..

my ben n jerry flavours oso suffered econ recession lahh;/..

2009-04-14T20:32:00.001+08:00

durin e 2nd break..or was it e first one?><>aft sch,may accompanied me to westmall:Dcoz i wanted to mail jeanie and agnes letter and i bo stamps
when we reach there,it was closed;/
i feel kinda bad like make may walk der for nothin..

i think im damn sway today lah..

in e morn,e bus tat i usu took,came half an hr later and i reach sch close to 7.30-.-

then maths lect,i was one of those who suggested switchin off e lights..

and aft switchin off e light,i made my way back to my seat..

but bfor i cld get back to my seat,i fell><..and trip over e steps..

serisly it muz hav been either chao dark coz cough..or else it wld be im damn blind and i hav become handicapped w/o my specs;/..

aft goin to e post office n goin popular to buy stuff,we went bread-shoppin coz may suggested bout buyin bread..
and it was then tat i rmbed tat i need to buy bread coz of 2moro's lit class..
so i ended up buyin loads of bread..

ohmann,i so look forward to lit class 2moro..
i noe not to laugh or cry when i receive assignment..
i noe liao..if i fail damn badly, i shall go tell pang im not gifted in paper 5 lit n tat i shld juz drop asap..
then i can give e book away as a b'day present><

may's an impt person in my life..coz her words always remind me of stuff tat i need to do which always slip out of my mind..lol..

2009-04-10T20:52:00.002+08:00

Refrain: Unless a grain of wheat shall fall upon the ground and die, it remains but a single grain with no life.
Verses:
If we have died with him,
then we shall live with him;
if we hold firm,
we shall reign with him.

If any one serves me,
then they must follow me;
wherever I am,
my servants will be.

i was juz thinkin..follow jesus even in his sufferings or?
and wherever he is,his servants will be->does it mean tat when he is rejoice and triumphant,will all of them be at their point?
to a certain extent,i guess im scared of servin..

2009-04-10T13:25:00.002+08:00

zita's hair looks like strawberry shortcake's hair bfor he went thru two hair cuts..

XDXD

for a moment,i was still wonderin how come i saw leon walkin to e pe dept area in e morn and appearin even shorter than before..

its only when tat person walked closer to us,did i realise it was zita and not leon..

i guess,as a result,zita was kinda cek with me..so she was narratin wat happen to her in hcl class as a result of me leavin><..

2009-04-08T20:07:00.002+08:00

tis' damn ironic lah..
to start off,i nv like lit and in fact i hate lit now..and yet im pursuin it at h2 level..
and apparently my sis noes more bout lit than me..
she even noes who emily bronte is whereas at her age,i only noe wat's my fav tv drama n wat mediacorp actresses r famous..
lol,she is even readin jane eyre by charlotte bronte..
amos was sayin in e canteen bout e only lit student in cj hist who failed lit..
lol,i think at tis rate i can be e second student to do so in cj hist;D..
lalalalala..

my sis juz told me e netball team of ~~ijbt~~ ij our lady queen of peace got into semi-finals;D..
lol,finally e netball team got sum achievements and tis' e 2nd yr tat they hav got into e semi-finals..
guess its coz of e efforts put in by e t'cher-with-the-bung-look..
anw,jiayou and all e best for e next round!..
now tat i mentioned ~~ijbt~~ ij our lady queen of peace,a random tot came to my mind:does choc still rmb wat agnes n i did?lol..

2009-04-07T19:36:00.004+08:00

i can hav loads of stuff runnin thru my mind..but for now,my mind seems to blank out n i hav no idea wat to write bout..
i guess i feel kinda guilty for not goin for e lenten vigil..
not because of e green tea but rather i can go but yet i aint there..
ohya,thanks george for e green tea;D..

i feel damn bad bout sumone la..
i feel like e person needed help yet i nv do much to help..then again,wat were i to do to help?..
and e person reminds me of sumone in e class-.-

2009-04-03T23:08:00.002+08:00

fri

theresian awards day!!..

lol,to a certain extent,i feel damn dumb to hav gone..

evania is serisly e smartest one in our cca..

she got e award n she nv go..

its like go spend 4-5 hrs for a piece of paper..and then end up i cldnt go penitential service on fri night;/..

but e gd part is i get to meet frens n all..

aft tonight,i guess banana in pyjmas is e best..

lol,jazlyn told me e specs look like those googles fr chem lab>

and meixian tot i was usin tin wei's one..

sumtimes i really dun mind takin o over and over again..well,i juz wanna stay at tat phase of life la..

when i was thinkin bout tat,i juz keep wonderin wat exactly wld hav e outcome been if wateva happen to me since e end of sec 2 to e early part of sec 4 didnt happen..wld i hav been btr off?or wld it hav been e same?

also,when e GOH was mrs kong,memories cant help but flow back to my mind..

legion.rejection.combination.

lol,when i went up to receive e prize for cca,she asked me a qn which i said yes..and e truth is i didnt hear wat she was sayin other than e first few words"are u still"

later jeanette ask me if kong got ask if im still in interact club n chad told me tat kong ask her if she was dancin for e college,did i realise tat kong muz hav asked me if im still in interact?or perhaps she ask me if im still serving..

lol,if she really ask me bout interact club,i wld zi wo an wei and think that at least wat im doin now is comm service=interact club..

and if she meant askin me if im still servin?..i guess to a certain extent,yes..since im servin e community;D..

and then aft e ceremony,i did talked to vino..and she told me sum stuff which made me wonder if she sumhow noe bout my history in sec sch days or she's juz talkin fr personal experience..

chad,me,meixian and jessica also went to find fungus..and i told her i miss her maths class;) because i cant talk in maths class anymore and so i failed maths;/..

lck who was at e table as well started laughin when he heard me say tis..very funny meh?

and fungus told him tat sylvia talks a lot in class n she had to put sylvia in a corner of e class-.-..

lol,ya,and i had to plead my way back..but aft a while,i end up to talk again juz tat lesser><..

thurs

i decided im so gonna TOP LIT CLASS with apple,strawberry shortcake,chocolate cake and bear..

lol,we were given a pop quiz on e plot..

and coz my memory for names' juz tat limited,i cant rmb some of e names..

furthermore,my eng sucks n i haven read finish e whole book..

so for e qns i duno,i came up with ans related to food..i guess i muz be hungry at tat time?..

lol,serisly if for mye or promos,i nv study or no time to study,i wanna ask leh for tuition on how to fill up space for exams..

even zhi yoong got higher than me for tat lit pop quiz:/

2009-04-01T17:18:00.005+08:00

爱你的男人不会让你哭
但是，若你不爱那位男人，你又怎么会哭呢？
我就是因为还喜欢他，才在在乎他至今是否记得我。

2009-03-28T22:24:00.003+08:00

ACIES!!!!!

we were in time for food time!!..

i didnt noe my timin for such things were tat gd..coz i realy tot we wld be in time for mass only..

i didnt quite realised tat 2 yrs hav passed since i last really talked to nick chin and wen hou ta until i saw him today..he mentioned tat he wasnt e pres anymore n tat was 2 yrs ago..

tho me and him r in e same church as well,but i nv act see him and others in e church other than clare,amos and sumone else fr my grp..

i guess i church-hop+a lil of church-chao too much..

he reminds me of ;X..

e one whom i wan see,i dun see..

e one whom i dun wan meet,i meet in e most unexpected manner..

anw,i saw jonas too..i was damn tempted to ask bout his best fren's whereabouts..but i guess sum stuff r btr left unknown..besides,i cld ask dorothea..

ohmann,i rmb..i shld go find out how's e guy with e gal voice doin..

like has his voice break aft 2 yrs?or even with breakin,it sounds e same..

and sumone who used to hav e baby face didnt hav baby face anymore><..

im serisly damn thankful for e company..

i wld not only hav lost my way to cj but wld hav felt damn emo for tat period..

durin e whole acies thing,my mind was a lil not focused..i was juz tryin to find sumone..

i noe who pdm e person is in..but i cant seem to see any possibility of anyone being him..

i tried to look for e person once more when we proceeded for communion but no matter how hard i tried to look in tat area,my efforts were futile..

i guess,i will nv be able to see again..

i was damn sad la..ohmann,if only jovi can tell me sth bout tis or sth..

another thing tat made me sad was oso e choice of songs..

were e songs juz too common or were all of them too coincidental?..

they were all e songs tat music min had sung bfor,either morn assembly or for mass..

images of e whole grp of us runnin up in time for assembly to sing,images of yan sin preparin e guitar,images of e disappointment faced juz appeared in my mind..

i really nv expect myself to get sad over tis..but ya,i juz wan to avoid e memories,i juz didnt wan to think bout it..

i cant take it shld e endin hymn be another song tat music ministry sung as well..

so ye,tat's partly why ask george to leave earlier..e other thing was too late for hist night damn paiseh..

hmm,yet e way e songs were done up by sji presented another angle of perspective;i was really ex lucky to hav help fr sps' grp of choir for tat time's acies..tho it isnt an official choir and juz a grp of 20 plus ppl singin,but it was really damn gd and super kind of them..and ms del phee..

i noe i hate t'chers,esp catholic one..but her kindness will always be rmbed by me..even tho she aint e best chem t'cher,she actually cabbed down fr stc to smota juz to keep her promise of helpin us to play e piano and shared her box of chicken rice..

her love of god and her promise to do such church-related stuff pretty much touched me tat time..

i guess im recallin too much stuff le><..anw,we left early fr acies..and george suggested walkin to cj..

and we oso nearly took e wrong path coz of him-.-..

so now i dun need to feel tat dumb;D..

malcom road was all over e place but we didnt see any monkeysxD..and i guess tat walk to cj made me realise why macritchie reservoir cld hav monkeys e other day..

2009-03-28T09:18:00.002+08:00

ystd alfresco was like erm,well,let's juz say its worst than sps's turtle race..
perhaps i didnt had e need to support anyone and i cant find any qi fen-.-
jeanette and i waited for chad in e sch..and when she finally came aft 6,e event didnt seem like it has started?..
so we left aft a while and headed to beauty world for dinner and to check out spectacles..
great..i gotta wear specs;/..
my carrot zheng jiu da xing dong didnt seem to hav any effect..
i dun wan by ~~power~~to increase by another 100..but specs make me look more toot like i aint toot enough..
and based on my personality,i think e specs will break super easily..
serisly i hate books..
i hate readin..
its all thanks to books and readin tat i need specs-.-..

ohmann..
tis is it..
i really very tempted to msg george and juz say tat i aint goin..lol,and perhaps likewise,he's tempted to do so?..
e place where i left for church and tat was e last place i wld hav been if i had really walked right onto e expressway..
e place where i felt quite a lot of disappointments and hurt
e place where a certain amt of awkwardness took place
e place where i had to chiong to for a few times
e place where i said e most impactful words
part of me really wan to get over with tis whole shit and juz face it..but will my persistence actually cause me even greater harm and pain..
i recall e time when i wanted to get over part of tat shit by returnin to help in one of e major mass back in sch,but i didnt succeed at all..instead i swore to myself tat i wld be even more cynical durin sch masses and not deny being a catholic..
sylvia,der's still time to pull out..
but if i cont to do so,when will i then be able to pull myself up..
besides,der's a longin in me to meet;X..
i noe very well,shld tis whole thing be a total failure for me,i will juz fall back into my pit..
if then,dun bother bout pullin me up..

aft acies,gotta rush to sch for hist night..and its to watch e j2s performin sum hist stuff..

2009-03-26T22:19:00.003+08:00

juz as much as memories cant be erased fr them,it cant be erased fr me as well..

can juz two person bring down e whole reputation?

why bring up e germaine incident..

why try to rake up e past bout legion of mary..

rahhs,i noe i cant put it behind me even tho i act like nth much has happened in front of u..but really,my faith aint tat strong to be able to rake up e past at any time..

if it had been,well;X..

ohmann,wat m i doin lah..

u noe aft all this,escapism juz seems like a btr route huh..

i guess u didnt noe tat u hav juz touched my shang xin chu la..

and i realise tat its not e ppl who really sucked..

no doubt e exco is like tat lor,and i guess she's tryin her best to ensure all e legion stuff is carried out properly but one person cant make a miracle..

its tat t'cher..

wth la..i seem to be bluffin myself all over again..

im like juz tellin myself:sylvia mayb it cld be diff tis time,mayb cj's cat t'chers are btr etc..

pls la..im juz foolin myself..

to think tat im dumb even when it comes to tis as well..

2009-03-25T17:11:00.002+08:00

change of seats today..
and der's no more window seat anymore for me;/..
but at least it beats sittin beside him luh..
and initially leon's suppose to sit beside kenneth but end up i switch place with him..
my reason for doin so is totally diff fr kenneth and leon:x..
they say they wanna convert me but i dun believe..coz i can be stubborn at times^^..

and i still dun believe kenneth and leon will make noise durin class time;D..

aiyah,but i will feel super zi-bei bout my handwritin><

2009-03-24T20:30:00.003+08:00

i was super sad when e thumbdrive couldnt work..
i was sad coz of e info tat was stored inside der..but aft kaizhen told me sth,i got even sadder..
those legion pics;/..
its funny how i cherish those pics even aft those incidents..and i was freakin pissed at him when e thumbdrive was like dead..
if only he didnt screw up his part,we wldnt need to stay back ystd to clear up his mess..which caused me to need to bring e thumbdrive to sch and go thru all e hassle,and finally send it to e washin machine-.-..if e thumbdrive is really screwed and dead aft i hav checked it another round,i wanna curse him..
im oso pissed at e way he treated george la..george sort of become e pai-nang and told him his paragraphs werent good..and he said sth like"like urs very good?"
even if ours aint good(in ur eyes),at e very least we dun plagarise..
i serisly rather be commented for crappin thru then plagarisin..
at least crappin thru is ur own effort..
also,he asked if i got take fr any sources and he was like sayin tat my paragraph looks like its fr keylor..
wow..
for one thing,i hate readin..so until now,i haven done any keylor readin except e one for hra..even then,i didnt read finish..
and keylor uses chim words which sylvia will nv use ever since pri sch coz she noes her english is not up to standard neither will it ever be up to keylor's standard..

ohmann,how i wished PE was today or ystd aft noon la..
ystd aft noon's class didnt had basketball lesson coz t'cher went for basketball competition..and today sch was dismissed at 4 so jeanette can chao PE yet we hav e same t'cher-.-..
during hist tut,george likened my handwritin to drawin..
well,he even thought the notes i took down was sum drawin tat i was doin and to make his emphasis,he took e paper,signed my name off and wrote e date der as well-.-..
rahhs,its bad enough to be commented on for handwritin..and now it is likened to sum form of art..
anw,talkin bout him,i serisly think he and housefly can be e best of frens~
lalalala~

gotta go back stc soon to stone for like 2hrs plus..
ahh,stc serisly shld gimme e award for messiest handwritin la..
and can sumone remind me tat i gotta tell fungus tat talkin in maths class is good?
coz all my payin attention and silence went down e drain since I FAILED MY MATHS TEST..
LOL..

2009-03-21T23:18:00.002+08:00

seriously ying liao lor..
i ask in e e-mail:
"erm,i hav sum prob bout writin e bibliography..
i hav attached in another doc all e sources that we hav used but coz i dun pay attention in pw class,i dun noe wat's e proper procedure to write e bibliography..
so can any of u help me with it and email me a copy of it?
then i will print it out when its submission time tgt with e essay.. "

and i got tis fr sumone:
"What is a bibliography?
Definition
A bibliography is a list of resources used or referred to by an author.

Discussion
Bibliographies used to be lists of written resources. Today, however, they often include information on other resources such as the following:
Interviews
Video and audio tapes
Computer resources
Speeches

A bibliography item usually includes information such as the following:

Source's name
Date of publication or interview
Name of publication or resource
Place of publication or interview

Example
Here is an example of a bibliography:

Dechant, Emerald. 1991. Understanding and teaching reading: An interactive model. Hillsdale, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc. 522.
Goodman, Yetta M. (editor). 1990. How children construct literacy: Piagetian perspectives. A collection of 6 papers presented at IRA 11th World Congress, London, 1986. Newark, DE: International Reading Association.

This is what a bibilography is about. Im sure you'd be able to do it : D "

i noe not to be grateful or -.-
it helped me clear all my doubts even for doin bibliography on websites

2009-03-19T20:39:00.002+08:00

im damn happy!!..
i juz completed readin vol one of wuthering heights..lol,tho tat's e minimum we hav to durin tis hols.. but considerin e fact tat i dun like readin n my slack-ness..yipeeeee^^..
lol,but i guess im still a lil blur with e storyline><..

today was fun..
lol,it was kinda unexpected tat mx didnt kill us for playin whip cream on her and her clothes..

2009-03-17T22:48:00.002+08:00

lol..i nv knew george was smart in photocopyin..

i went to put e papers at e scanning area part then was like sayin how to scan and photocopy it..

george "er hua bu shuo" pressed e photocopy button,makin me feel damn noob..

hist proj makes me feel nothing but droppin hist..

but well,i noe e consequence..

2009-03-16T23:02:00.003+08:00

ahhs..i serisly shld get started with stwopit lit and maths..
since i need one day and two days for each of them respectively..
but but..
i juz keep gettin distracted with e tw drama..
lol,its weird how tat drama brings me back memories of those past..and i can spend more time on tv than on studies..
ohmann,i wan zhao e lit spirit liao..

;/..

2009-03-14T00:17:00.002+08:00

i was tellin evryone how much francis hate me etc so tat's why i wont get any award..

and serisly he hate me la..with all e trouble i gave him with lom,interact etc..

as much as he disliked me,i ''reciprocate'' tat dislike towards him..

but unexpectedly,i received tat letter..

and im serisly lazy to go..

even goin back to sch to take e o lvl cert is a chore,definitely goin back for tat thin is like worse?coz its aft cca and im tired><..

hehe,im naturally tired to do anythin aft a long day at sch+cca..

no doubt can meet up with meixian and etc;D,but e tot of spendin time there clappin hands when i can spend time sittin at hme sleepin/watchin tv/chiongin e stwopit lit puts me off..

i serisly gonna bring my women in love or wutherin heights and stone der with my mp3 la..

but e gd thing is i get a free ride from jeanette?^^

i think im really very pessimistic and always see things in a bad light..even when its a happy thing like tis,i guess my exhaustion pretty much puts me off..

since there's history night on 28th march..

wow,i love history..and lit enlightens me..

2009-03-10T17:08:00.002+08:00

i guess sum things r really very unexpected..
it was sth i nv think wld ever happen..
hmm,anw heck liao..aft all,i got lot of my own issues tat i hav yet to settle n i need to settle them..

nexus msg to say tat meetin's cancelled..lol,e irony of it all..
i really wonder if its tat slacked..or tat shld be e cca tat i shld pull out..
coz im gonna be on e road of last min chiongin hw so i need those breaks to chiong hw?..

u tell me to join lom..u tell me tat perhaps u talkin to me was a sign fr god..
but it aint as easy as u think..if it was,a fren who has been fully tryin to get me out of it wld hav succeeded long ago..
besides,i hav been trapped in tis situation for a yr plus tho imo,it has been a lil btr..
but i noe a blow tat's a lil too big will juz cause me to sink back to e bottom of tat pit..

i serisly cant believe tat sumone tot tat i wanted to join coz ;S is joinin..well,i always hav e tot of returnin to lom..but e fear is greater than e longin..tat's why even now,im still ex apprehensive of wat things can be..

sum told me cj lom wont close down,but i wld juz feel ex guilty if things turn out bad..i do not noe why but i cant seem to hear mary's voice..mayb i aint prayin hard?

i wonder wat hav been :X opinion if i were to ask:X ><..

on e lighter note,we may be able to get a treat very soon^^..and its fr bear..wakakaka.. first time see bear so open with a guy to e extent of shakin hand mannxDxD.. ohmann,how i wish i cld snap a pic of it or moo n chad were der to see it for themselves.. i serisly nv see it happen bfor with him..so i guess it cld be sth :X.. chad,we muz work hard to get our meal ah;D..

2009-03-09T18:28:00.002+08:00

ahh,maths ca's 2moro..hmm,and i noe i shldnt be at e com nor at e tv watchin channel u hotel show while bloggin..ohmann,and i still got yi qie wan mei tonight<3..
i guess im here coz i need a channel to sort out my thoughts?im really very confused as to wat ccas i shld join?
lom+nexus?
lom+svdp?
nexus+svdp?
or lom+nexus+svdp?
i guess e one juz above can kill me..

tho my experience for last wk's svdp was an eye-opener and it felt nice..
lom didnt seem too bad either..e seniors did sum reflection and it made me realised tat i wasnt e only alone on tis catholic journey..there r ppl who experience shit tho a diff kind,but they still push on..and i suddenly realise tat wat makes lom beautiful is tat all of us tho sinners and recognise tat,still come tgt to come and pray tgt..

but im scared of joinin..tat fear in me is still acute..
on e surface,im scared of lom close down coz i join..
but deep inside,i dun wan to get hurt once more,i dun wan to face those politics tat i hav to see e other time..
when i came to e knowledge tat germaine wasnt in lom anymore,i was appalled..how cld sumone who's so enthu in catholic not be in it..i pondered if its my fault tat she quit..was it tat incident to cause her to leave..
if then,i feel chao ex guilty..
i noe tat shld cj lom fall or anythin,i cant pick myself up from the pit of faith and i wld be cynical for e rest of my life..
yet aft a chat today,indeed,lom has taught me sth and well,in a certain way enriched my life..but i guess im juz into escapism?
then again,based on wat sumone has told me bfor,it wont lead me to anywhere..coz one day,all these will come in one big chunk and haunt me..
it has been close to 19mths and i still cant let go..and i still can bring myself back to serve god and be engaged in catholic activities..
perhaps all e passion i had for lom,e love i had for mother mary were ruined by e politics huh?

hmm,kenneth says he wan be lom's pres..and as a classmate,i feel i shld go join lom to give him e support?coz i understand how tough it can be when der's no committed mems..and it sucks..lol,tat situation of lil ppl also marks e great decline of e pdm..
but even if i were to join lom,i wont be able to commit my sats to go help in old folks' home?and i realised tat a pdm need to carry out works unless e prayer lvl very strong..so if almost all e j1s who wanna join dun wan commit sat,i guess lom can also be on e verge of closin down?
i really meant no crticising here..i guess i juz wanna explore e possibilities?

im suddenly very tempted to ask _____ if i shld join back lom..
_ did tell me bfor tat perhaps it wld be btr to join sth else and not lom..its really peculiar tat i wld think of _ at tis point of time..

2009-03-04T19:13:00.003+08:00

kaizhen rocks;D..

and i guess im stone?lol..

cross country ~~race~~ stroll was tirin but kinda enjoyable..
but e dist super long;/..i think its worse than e one those competitive ppl took..
and i realised im damn bad at squeezin..or perhaps i aint strategic enough?
coz kaizhen,jertaime and i were e last one to reach there and we missed countless buses becoz dey were all too packed..
jeanette's class was e best lah..carried their bag with them to e venue..lol,lucky it nv rain..and to get there in time,they took a bus down to another stop n so they manage to get on e bus w/o any squeezin;/..
lol,anw,durin e stroll,we met kenny's ~~backup~~ species who are somewhat adorable..

and since chad told jeanette that they r her relatives?

so it makes e three of them related?xDxD

i was kiddin with kenny tat if he be lom pres, it can be legion of crap instead..

and he suddenly became so serious..

it really didnt sound like e usual him..

i was stunned by how religious he can be..and i juz wondered bout myself..

wat made me wondered more was zhi yoong's qns..

he was askin sum stuff bout e bible..and it occurred to me then tat i nv qn wat was written in e bible..

i guess i take those facts at face value?or is tat really faith in god's word when one does not qn?

e only thing tat i hav question thus far is why did mother mary join lom in my sec days..

why did i hav to go thru those stuff..

i admit,there's tis longin in me to go for 2moro's lom(partly cause kenny started scarin me tat by sayin wateva i say,mother mary will made me retain;/)..

but serisly even bfor tis happen,i do hav a longin but im scared..

2009-03-04T19:03:00.003+08:00

rahhs..u tell me tat she's tat kind of person yet u were chattin with her when u go home..

wow..e irony..

i noe im short..even shortest in class..

but i aint tat short tat u werent able to see me or recognize my bag when u walked out e sch gate huh..

and only said bye to me when u were gonna board e bus and end off with ur usual "muacks"..

no doubt i hav known u for 9 yrs countin 10..and we r in e same religious grpin,but as far as i see it,u enjoy much bein with ur new found fren=tat gal..

if then,i rather u dun tell me anythin bout e stuff ur facin with her..

if then,i rather u go mass with her..

u noe,its serisly kae for me to go mass with parents evry week..

and wow,thanks so much for e muacks..i guess ur stm's really tat bad lah..and i can feel tat apology..

2009-03-01T21:08:00.000+08:00

hist is a drag..

since 7.30 am to 9.05 pm

wow..13h 35 mins of hist..

im so a hist buff..

2009-02-25T17:38:00.002+08:00

i.got.into.cj.interact..

but i dun feel good..i juz dun feel happy..

i noe im one of e more fortunate ones..but der's sth missin..

anw,went for ash wed mass tis morn..

that's e best part of being in a catholic sch-e sch will always hold e masses of obligationXD..

and sumhow,tat kind of feelin dun feel so sucky now..i even feel bad not rendering my service for god..

i had really been too idealistic in e past..and i guess to a certain extent,im overly idealistic bout tis interact club..

or is it i expect too much since its my dream to join cj interact?..

life is serisly not only a bed of roses..it is oso full of ironies..

i wanted so badly to do pure hist at sec 2 n i can vividly rmb how devastated i was when i cldnt do so,not even as a private candidate..

i nv like lit..in fact i hated it..but i had no choice n took pure lit..

at e end of e day,it was a diff story..

i had always dream of pursuin hist at a higher level..

yet when im doin hist at h2 now,im feelin totally devastated..
well,i guess e same goes for cca huh..

juz like legion,perhaps because of qian yi mo hua,i was sayin rosary etc..and lom appealed to me greatly..

n i had oso dream of joinin lom when i go sec sch..

there's no way to deny tat lom initially was flawless,but when all those stuff came in,it was nothin but horrible..another irony again?>

i suddenly duno wat cca to chooseT.T

nexus reach its quota

interact accepted me but i nv sign e list of confirmed members;/

and im a bit worried bout svdp..wat if i dun like?wat if?....and der's tis sense of awkwardness..

2009-02-22T22:22:00.002+08:00

cj's interact club got me to go to one of e centres for weekly cip..i wrote down tat i wanted e one at bt merah or queenstown..

and wow,they posted me to hougang..

tho they got me to go, but it didnt mean tat i was in e cca or anythin..i guess dey wanted it to be an eye-opener for e j1s..

however, for me, it was juz a period of time for me to comparison and dig out memories..

I WANT STC'S INTERACT DAYS BADLY!..

i do not noe if i hav been too idealistic tis time or wat..its juz tat i cant help but compare cj with stc's one..

its like i tot im damn blur etc n i can screw stuff up but i guess theirs' seem worse?

e leader of e cip didnt noe if we were in e cca for sure or wat..hmm,i question e amt of communication btwn e exco and them then..

perhaps its e first time i go to tat centre,i juz feel weird..

i think i got too used to spd alrdy..

since i went there almost evry fri n e ppl,surrounding everything is so familiar..so its hard for me to adjust?

its not tat those ppl in tat area are bad or mean.i guess its juz me who feels peculiar in e east..

i miss e times when gayathree,jolyn,shalini and me travel to spd n etc..those chatter and talk are juz sth i cant find myself really doin while in cj's one..

perhaps its time to go seek sth new so that i can bring a totally new mindset in with me?..

or hav i lost my love for volunteerism?

tired and sick of getting all e shit is the biao mian reason but the truth is..

hmm...

2009-02-22T22:09:00.002+08:00

yipee..super duper happy that i hav finished my hist reading assignment^^

*rejoice*..

tho i noe der's another one comin a few days time n i still got two sets of reading to do,but zou yi bu suan yi bu ba for now..

i really miss those days when i hav hist in class esp during our 'heavy' prep for o..

me and mx talking..and we were always one of those vino get pissed with..

for lit, it would be the times when leh starts writin extra stuff on e mds or tellin me sum love story while i try to catch forty winks..

or when the whole rows goes to sleep and shankar wakes us up..

come to think of it,i wonder why i was so tired at tat time..

i really cant rmb if i was staying up do work or :X..

ahh,but now it seems so diff..

the ppl in e lit class de eng so pro..and mine's like rojak-.-..

i miss pri sch days with agnes..cursing choc,mrs deva etc..

despite being e rock-bottom of e best class,der didnt seem to be any pressure to excel..

we were even seen in a bad light by choc, but both of us still did well at our o;D..

2009-02-19T18:50:00.003+08:00

yipee..finally manage to use com aft chao long..

lol i cant imagine im still at e com despite der being math test n my stwopit hist reading assignment left undone..

im serisly hating all e subs that im doin now..

and e tot of repeating seems very temptin but i guess i cant afford to..

ahh,and the guys' handwritin are so much btr than mine;/..

e worst handwritind award is confirm mine mann..

anw juz e other day jertaime and i walk past1T07 and we saw tat der was no crucfix inside so i was tellin her tat no wonder i felt weird n der was juz tis' sense of uneasiness la..

i really wonder if such things actually meant so much to me><..

then again,im starting to feel that life's meaningless..or shld i say tat der's sum sense of emptiness..

its juz tat besides all those paper chase,i feel der isnt anythin really worth?

to a certain extent,i do miss e times when i was hetic coz of catholic stuff-legion etc..

but well,i noe i will nv touch mass stuff since down here its run by e catholics in e student council..and im so not joinin student council;D..

mayb i shld join svdp instead of interact?or wat..really go try lom?

though mx ask me not to join any catholic stuff..but if interact dun wan me,i dun hav much of a choice?..

i really find it funny tat how i can get so affected by lom when i do experience shit+politics at both interact n lom..

ohya..and i found sumone as blur as me or even more blur..

ystd durin lit class,zhi yoong took out wuthering heights for women..and me n kaizhen were sayin that,tat's e wrong book..

and today,for a different lit class,he took out"women in love" and said"is tis e right book?"..and both of us juz broke out in laughter..coz its damn funny la..

when its women in love,he brought wuthering heights..

lol,carry e heavy book for nothing..

=p..

but im guilty for being slack,i bring no book at all even when ppl bring to read..

great serisly i dun noe how to read those books;/

2009-02-19T18:46:00.004+08:00

IG07<3

i didnt go for their 2nd outing since my skin was havin sum allergy><..

but anw those times were fun^.^except e fact tat i was e 2nd shortest in e ig..

2009-02-09T15:59:00.004+08:00

orientation with ig was nice..

i pretty much miss those days..

if only,ig=class;/..

lol and now i gotta go cop pics soon..

e games were sth tat i were warned of n it was well,disturbin?

lol,and i managed to chao a few..

mass dance was..dotz..

my plan failed..and humph jeanette got to dance with a gal at e end:/..

house cheers were sth of a routine n it was super sian..

lol but house cheers allowed jeanette to noe *****..or u wan e guy wearin spongebob squarepants shorts?=p..

aft tat finale night,we went out as an ig for dinner..

tho shack,but it was memorable..but sadly,i cldnt stay longer..

classes hav sort of started and im fearful of e pressure n evrythin..

i realised e great difference btwn my eng standard as compared to e rest mann..

because of sum circumstances,i realised i need sum stuff even more now than bfor><..

2009-02-01T22:19:00.002+08:00

rahhs..

can i appeal out now?

definitely der muz be a way right?

shld i email pj or sth?

i noe it wld be my fault tat i didnt put them as my first choice..

but..

i feel damn frightened goin to cj now..

pj isnt tat bad right?distance oso not bad..

wat went into me at e point of consideration la..

wat wantin to face evrythin..and not runnin away..

great,face my spiritual prob,handwritin prob n those freakin ppl tat i dun wan see..

wat in e world did i choose and got myself into..

2009-02-01T00:07:00.002+08:00

tis' night is serisly e BEST night..

im very freaked out..

sch's juz two days away or is it one day..

lol im havin countin prob alrdy..

anw..im chao scared for orientation la..

evryone's grp's no is super far fr me..

12,13,15,16,23,26,27

and mine's wat..

07..

ohmann,in biblical terms,7 is a perfect no..

but on such a occasion,i rather no 13 or sth else la..

sway sway sway..

and right now,i noe no one who's gonna be same grp as me..which increases e fear..

im gonna be my anti-talkin,anti-guys,anti-social..

and all e other anti stuff..

then again,i rather be sum loner n talk to e floor if sum ppl i chao dun like or dun wan talk to is in e same grp as me..

to add on to these,i heard tat sum ppl whom i dun like may hav been rejected by their jc of their choice..and i aint referrin to si ren j..

ohmytian and e si ren jefferson tan one is e most irritatin de la..

i hope he can go into acj n even got pray once tat nvm la he can do ex well so tat he can go his acj then i do well juz enuf to go cj or pj la..

but guess wat,e reverse happens..

great..

his classmate told me he wan to appeal to cj since he's short of one point..

of all things he wan do,he's gonna do arts..

rahhs..

as far as i noe,e two of us did e same humanities for o lvl so der r greater chances we do same sub=same combi knock my head on e wall..

its bad enough tat no one i noe fr stc is goin cj to do e stuff tat i wan..and now der's sumone whom i dun wan who may end up cj..

hmm,i guess i can appeal to pj one right?

it seems like e only thing i can do now is pray and ask god to gimme wat's best for me..

2009-02-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

ahh i feel so bad..
not agreein to go with clare to go join e church's youth group..
i got think bout goin der juz to see see..
but on further thought,i noe..at e very least for now,i cant forget e past..
esp since e youth group is at church of e holy cross..
well,i guess e lvl of ********* is juz too high..
im too bitter and disillusioned..
clare did suggest to me to give e catholic activities another chance which might change their view of them..
and in e past yr since i xian ru into tis situation,i did go for such things but evrytime when i did,i got upset,pissed and back to square one..
and since e whole legion thing came back not awhile long ago,i dun think my faith can take such things once more..
lol,jonathan got ask me go join legion too, and go join a stable pdm..
but i scared i cant commit e time n energy..also,shld i in any chance get hurt as a result of catholic stuff,i doubt i can pull myself tgt n be a minimum sunday catholic..
lol i realised why,those times i can keep thinkin i can forget bout e whole catholic thing n pretend it nv happen..
coz i hav serisly escaped and ran away fr evrythin..
other than e daily prayers which were said in stc,and i said it as part of wantin to pray..
i ran away from:
first friday mass-helpin out and attendin
religious education class(i nv attended a single-one tho evryone else attended at least one)
and even when e sch was havin compulsory mass like end of yr mass,in any chance when i was able to do so,i went along and acted like i was a non-catholic..
and sat with e non-catholics and nv receive holy communion..

i really very pei fu jonathan who went back to serving the church..
who went back to join legion despite all tat had happened to him..
he told me bfor i haven fell into e pit of tis spiritual thing but i feel like i hav..or perhaps i duno how to come out of it or its tis great self-protection tat i yearn for which disable me fr walkin out of it..

at e end of e day,e greatest irony of all is..
im goin to cj..
i really duno how im gonna cope with tis catholic thing..
i duno how im really gonna let go..
how to forget and wat forgive..
how to allow myself to be a catholic yet ensure tat i dun inflict any wounds..
i noe i hav no cream for it nor bandage..and a wound can get infection if its left in e open right?
and e next thing cld be amputation..
lol

2009-01-28T11:10:00.002+08:00

ahh rahhs..

i hate my blur-ness

i hate my messiness

i guess im startin to hate myself..

i juz rmbed bout e sum of money tat jeanie passed me on sat
and i have searched e whole hse but still i cant find it..
i wonder if its accidentally being thrown away or not while clearin stuff or when i was out on sat..
*sob*..
i was still plannin to use tis money to go out 2moro..since its more than 10 bucks..
and if i can rmb correctly tat amt tat wld hav been with me is 14

right now i serisly dun hav any mood to do anythin..
chao heart painT.T..

2009-01-28T00:29:00.002+08:00

ahh,it only occured to me tat i forgot to add god to my list of thanks..

hmm,not tat i really forgot to thank him but i did so in prayers and i was wonderin if i wrote it here,wld it be usin his name in vain..

but i guess it wldnt be?coz other than thankin god,i wld like to add on more..

aft receivin my results tat day,i rmb bout tat voice two yrs back..

i wont say for sure tat it cld be god..but well,i thank mother mary n e saints but i left out god?..

anw,back to tat part,

durin e course of tat past two yrs,i always i was startin to noe wat those words meant..and even began to lose faith in those words..

i even think tat i muz be imaginin things..

and aft i saw e results,i realised he fufilled his promise..

juz tat i had to give him time..

juz tat i had to look at e bigger picture..

yet tat very often,because of my impatience and my lack of faith,im unable to do either of e two..

i noe im not prayin enough but when im weak,i start to become doubtful,thus losin my ability to pray even more..

all these things bout god bring me back to e day when i went back to stc to put e two vase tat i hav bought for lom..

anw,lom vases broke juz bfor lom close down..n i went to buy new ones to replace but keep forgettin to put them into e chapel..and since i'll most prob not join cj lom,i might as well leave it in stc lom since it was bought usin money fr stc lom..

so yup,went to e office n ask e office staff for e chapel keys..i explained e whole story and aft listenin to me,she say wait for a while..

and freakin fungus was der,she didnt even bother to help n talk to me like its-none-of-her-business..

e office staff finally came back,sayin:tis' sister julie,u can talk to her..

so i tot hmm e keys r kept by her or on her..well okay..

and aft i repeated e whole story to sister julie,she said to me:okay,u can go to e chapel to put the keys..

upon listenin to wat she has to say,in my heart only tis tot was runnin across my mind:great!so u dun hav e keys then ask u to come out n talk to me for wat la mann..

e office staff even ask me which yr u graduated in and ask sister julie if i can go in to e chapel to put e keys or not..

wth lah..treat me like im sumone who wan steal stuff fr e chapel like tat..

pls la..chapel can steal wat?books ah?-.-

and who will come early to sch to steal la---.-""

finally,aft so long,i managed to get e keys but e office staff muz be dun fang xin,helped me open e door..

and if not coz i told her i wanted to stay in e chapel a lil while to pray,i bet she will make sure she locks e door mann..

as a result,she told me to lock e door aft prayin,etc..

serisly,wat pisses me off fr tis whole episode is e way e office staff sees me and e fact tat der were gambling cards in e chapel..

mayb its me being rigid,but i cant accept n dun lik e idea of gamblin cards in god's place of worship..

wow,tis speaks greatly of the catholic education here..

firstly,e chapel is seldom used.

secondly,e vases durin lom days were broken by sum ppl n not even owning up at all

thirdly,gambling..

and e nun was being ultra friendly,aft tat talk she didnt bother to company me to e chapel..

okay mayb she was busy la huh..

but e presence of e nun really upsetted me loads..

i do not noe if tat's e reason tat caused me to cry when i went to e chapel and carried e mother mary statue once more or if its due to another reason..

however,i do noe tat der was a nun in stc sumtime in later part of 2008 and it was e same nun..

i keep questionin..

why cant a nun come a yr earlier

why muz it only be a yr later

why wasnt der a way or a chance for lom to be revived

was it for ij ym tat tis nun came..if then y cldnt they b a bit more fair to lom

aint catholics suppose to help one another

or wat my mum believ is true

why didnt i hav e strength to cont pushin on

why cldnt i hav enough faith

why muz there be a lil hope tat it cld b revived n destroyed juz a while ltr

why do i hav to experience tis n not other catholics

2009-01-27T22:24:00.002+08:00

i feel super satisfied tat i packed up my whole area..

as in e state tat my table was when my frens came is totally diff fr now..

like i can easily locate my stuff and it's worth an aft noon work;/and with help fr my sis;D..

but i noe it cant really last for damn long..

meanwhile,i shall enjoy itXDXD..

as i write tis,e idea of neatness came into my mind..and i oso realised tat,

13 days have passed since i last blogged..

and another 7 days or so till sch starts?

yucks..

ahh,i serisly hope tat der r like no guys in e class i kena to..coz when it comes to being neat,its really hard to believ tat im a gal..

and its worst when handwritin is mentioned..

lol stc shld award me the messiest handwriting award;D..

but to a certain extent,im really very thankful to the t'chers who did not gave up on me and my handwritin towards e end of e yr..

these will forever be etched in my mind:

e words that a lit t'cher wrote when she marked my essay durin exam,

karenl's words

vino's words

shankar's comment on my handwritin when i wrote lesser

lol,they did invoked a great level of fear within me..

ohya,i juz rmb i gotta update my list of thanks for lit><

2009-01-14T23:52:00.001+08:00

i wish i had nv spoken to u..

i wish i had nv known u..

perhaps it was btr off evrythin in smss..

lost..

pj huh..

2009-01-14T01:16:00.003+08:00

i realised i hav got many thanks to say to for my humanities..

hmm i noe i can nv say to sum of my t'chers..

so here it is(if they happen to see it):

THANK YOU!(in no order)

mrs josephine phang-u built my foundation for tkm

mrs audrey cheng-u gave me e xtra help for unseen

mrs tam-a smart and good t'cher for ss

ms vino-who built my foundation for hist in lower sec n help me secure wat i got now

and for e ppl who aided me in my understanding..

and to frens for lit:

jeanette-for comin down e day bfor e lit paper to play t-t..in e attempt to tire me out..lol..

jeanie-ur effort in comin up with e mds quotes..and sum of ur talkin bout mds..sumhow it made me realise tat im able to relate mds to my life;D..

meixian-ur effort in collatin and comin up with e mds quotes..and ur invitation to ms lee's last min lit class..

THANKS!

2009-01-14T00:58:00.005+08:00

ahh..i juz rmb i had to help two kids do sth..

one add on sth for a kid's present..

and second look thru sum papers for her..

mayb i shld wake up early n do 2moro..

ohmann i still wan watch last one standin..i haven touch it since it was lent to me;/..

jeanette..er,happy waitin?lols..

went to jeanette for ac open hse..and yh n si hui wan go ac..all e best then;D..

met agnes n hl..lols tis is e third time meetin agnes liao..

then went to work fr ac and its truly my super high day at work^^

i keep on laughin and stuff but i was really happy..and i was distractin evryone at my table fr doin their work><..

one of e kids thinks tat i took ecstaty pills lah..

lol and gu ni ter's bro started to disturb gu ni ter by singin:

..This is zhi sheng truly, where jing ling know she must be

Where their dreams wait for them, where that love always runs....

guess wat gu ni ter started laughin..at e name of jingling..lol..

so we spent bout one-third of e time teasin him..and he spent tat one-third of e time beating me;/..

anw..e song tat gu ni ter's bro sang..reminded me of e days when agnes n i wld start changin e lyrics for e national day songs tat we were made to sing^^..

damn fun lah..

later uncle vince and mr chew had like a ''fight'',uncle vince wanted to see mr chew's handbook to noe e hw,but e latter didnt wan to lend..

lol,and its chao funny..

uncle vince started callin him darling and baby..and goin all over him makin them look like they r doin sth really wrong..

but mr chew nv reciprocate e love and refused to give n mr chew,instead snatched it back immediately fr uncle vince(when he manage to get it for a few secs)..

as a result,i suddenly rmbed bout jeremy and ah pek ong playin gay..shhh..

wait..now i hav two uncles..lols..

soon aft played table tennis with mr chew..i serisly suck la..and then he went to coach matthew in it..

wow..

next he end up playin with uncle vince n i can feel e importance of chemistryXD..

coz i wasnt playin n e kids outside didnt need much care since e other t'cher was arnd,hui lin and i wer in e rm tat they were playin..and we started distractin them..

lols u can tell tat we were super bored..

we were damn successful^^ and funny to e extent tat both of us laughed till our stomach hurts><..

hmm now gotta think i i shld get them farewell presents?

2009-01-13T09:55:00.004+08:00

im super happy over e results..and extremely grateful as well..

super happy because jeanette,meixian and me all scored e same points..^^

yipeeeee..and tat's a reason for celebration mann..

grateful because der hav been surprises and relief..

its a miracle tat eating like i-cant-rmb how many muscle relaxation pills and consuming duno-how-much cough mixture to ko,i can still stay awake and finish off e eng paper w/o sleepin e night bfor n still get a b..

im pretty grateful for tat..

and for lit,im chao gan ji..

i still rmb tat e day bfor tat paper,jeanette n i were still playin table tennis in an attempt to make me tired out..

e whole scene of e lit exam is still vivid in my mind-e tiredness,e feelin of givin up to write any more tho i noe wat to write..

and coz of e mds essay i keep thinkin i choose e wrong qn..plus e fear of examiners not being able to read my handwritin..i even wanted to walk out of e exam hall mann..

most importantly,i really wan thank e saints,god n mother mary..

i knew fr e very start tat when i choose to rely on humanities,it was either a make or a break coz of my handwritin.. and sumtimes my frens cant even tell wat im writin so its a miracle tat e examiners r able to do tat..besides i cant be there to tell e examiners wat im writin..so it muz hav been their heavenly help tat i manage to pull thru..

and my sci..heehee,they came in pairs;D..

anw aft seein e results,my heart is set to go jc do arts^^..

but e qn of which jc seems..ahh rahhs..

as a result,im gonna hav to stop workin soon..

altho e kids do traumatise me and stuff but i realise i only hav another 9 days with them..

im gonna miss them greatly..

their yellow jokes n e stuff they like to talk bout..

their mischief..

their teasin bout one's another love scandals..

the playin of my hair..

the shoutin..

the scoldin..

can i choose to stay where im?and not let e earth revolve?and tat time comes to a halt?

lols..i feel tat even in normal situation im speakin louder thanks to them><..

hmm,im most probably gonna stop work on e 23rd since my concession pass endin on e 21st..

i really cant believe tat im gonna stop work soon..tis past two mths or so seem to pass so fast..

2009-01-13T09:47:00.004+08:00

ahh rahhs..i was woken up in e morn at like 9 to e freaking sound of construction stuff and e workers' chatting;/..
anw..so i decided to blog bout e open hses and all since im up early..
open hses are pretty fun but uber tiring and e legs and are super aching..
hmm..starting with 8th jan:
pjc:e whole environment feels damn good with e breeze and all..and their goodie bag has e most stuff..
np:a lot of walkin;/..and e lecturers are super good at talkin tat now im damn scared of e word'energy'lol..
sp:hmm,imo less friendly..but more generous in their supply of popcorn n etc..wakaka..
9th jan:
yjc:super wu lu la..and e ppl are super enthu in makin us do stuff tat we dun wan;/..
ajc:i pretty like e environment there but it does feel a lil run down..and e facils are very helpful..lunch was pretty good;D..
ijc:dead town-.- and loads of walkin!!
cjc:hmm,very diff fr wat i tot it wld be?..and i cant believe but i still found an attraction to lom over there..
10th jan:
rp:ahh..at least i got e hoodie for my sis^^..but its super far n e walk's pretty much a killer
nyp:nursin seems very cool initially..but on e second tot,i dun wan leave any instrument in e patient's body..
tp:balloons!!..and julian hee really damn shuai in real life la;D..but e sch really seem too far liao;/..

2009-01-04T23:39:00.003+08:00

i got sumone to add me to discuss bout blogshop stuff..and when i told him my email add..
he was like why so weird..sohxys..
then i said ooh its fr pri sch one la..
and he said ur crush's code or sth
i replied:er,im fr an all gals sch in pri sch luh..
and he started to say tat i like gals..and i clarified tat im straight..
when i accepted he saw e msn pic and said those r ur kids?
"no lah..but adorable right?they r my(said in a slip of tongue) the kids at e student care tat im t'ching in..

lol..i think its super funny tat sohxys can be tot as my crush's name..

thinkin bout e word crush,it juz brings back memories of my only co-ed environment:pro-teach..

how we wld tease others bout crushes..

but if tat's my crush's code or sth..wont my sis be my crush?-.-""since her id in pri sch is sohxys as well..

and great,sumone juz intro me to a person who's close to *rahhs*

2009-01-03T23:35:00.002+08:00

ahh..no matter how i try to be neat,i am still messy and tat blur-ness worsens it..

tat muz be why i cant locate wher in e world e bio insights book is..and now my chance of earning money has grown wings..

rahhs;/..

2009-01-02T23:41:00.002+08:00

its a brand new yr..

lol but tis seems to come a lil late..and i still think its sch hols..

was waitin for e bus to come today..andbus 970 stopped at e bus stop and when i saw a sec sch gal alighted..i tot she muz be damn poor thing to hav to need to go sch in e sch hols..

only till when i reach bukit batok central did i realise how blur im and rmb tat sch has re-open..

bcoz i was surrounded by pri sch students and sec sch students..

and it feels weird seeing the bus packed both on e trip to stud care n back fr stud care coz usu im able to find a seat with ease..

frankly sayin,the idea of sch re-opening for me seems scary..

i like it e way now..

i guess im juz afraid of change..

2008-12-30T22:54:00.000+08:00

zhuan yan jian..tis' e last day of my work for e yr..and siu yee's last day is 2moro..
i bid her farewell today and wish her all e best then..

come to think of e first time when i saw her,i tot she look like jeremy's ex..

and was related to her or sth..

all of a sudden,i wonder if its me or does anyone feels tat e centre seems quieter..and i believe with sch re-opening,things are definitely gonna quieten down..

yipee..no more jeffersonXD

pictures are uploaded:

http://s250.photobucket.com/albums/gg247/sohxys/stud%20care/ and http://www.flickr.com/photos/28288469@N04/sets/72157611898544292/

2008-12-30T00:48:00.000+08:00

was at e polyclinic sum time back..and i saw tis while waitin for my queue no..
and lookin at tis no,it brings back memories so i decided to take a pic of it..
aiyah so sad tat it isnt 1584..
but i guess things are not meant to go one's way..

its weird how i cant rmb dates or hav a difficult time rmberin them but when it comes to contact nos..e moment i rmb it,it stays with me for a super long time..
and as for tis special one,i guess it will be for life..

2008-12-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

poor kids..that was e only time that i saw them having such a big plate and filled with loads of stuff for teabreak..as a result,that's e only time when we didnt hav to force them to go for teabreak:D

serisly a damn rare sight..i was shocked when sumone showed me tis..

i came to noe of tis when a kid showed me her hidin spot durin hide-and-seek..

tho i have heard of tis kind of thing happenin bfor,but i still didnt think tat it was true..
well,i guess tis says a lot bout singaporeans and their value for money-a dollar..

POOH!!
and its smaller than my baby pooh at hme..

2008-12-29T00:05:00.000+08:00

out of boredom,i went to see sum videos on youtube..

and i realised i gonna die n feel out of place in tertiary education..

2008-12-29T00:03:00.001+08:00

lols..no need for relink..coz my blog is kae again..

no more e stwopit violatin thing^^..

and as a result,im gonna copy n paste e last post over here..

"ohmann..i hope e gameboy cartridge is kae..
e kid didnt come to e stud care on fri n great..worries for a few more days..
perhaps its time for desperate saving><
T.T..
agnes told me a few days ago tat choc's daughter got e top spot in ijbt..
i really wonder how much time she put in in a day..
mayb juz like mine,its all god's blessing..
but if then..why didnt and wont she go a catholic sch like st nic?
it aint tat bad anyway..or perhaps face is more impt to her..
and i was tellin my mum n sis bout tis news juz now n my mum casually asked e younger one same age as u right sharon so she's very smart?
and my sis said she's older n last yr went to 3 sth not peace class..
lols,perhaps choc put in too much effort into one..
sum things r juz so unpredictable;/.."

2008-12-19T21:32:00.001+08:00

heys
relink pls
http://www.huidaoyuandian.blogspot.com/
thanks

2008-12-15T22:04:00.001+08:00

rahhs..

my previous blog was blocked..coz of e content of a few of my posts;/..

ahh..i wonder wat's wrong with e content..

so ye,i had to do blog export twice to rectify e issue..

and finally its done;D..

hmm,perhaps mi is gonna be my future sch..since i pass by it almost evryday to work..

and serisly transport to der is damn convenient..and not a lot of walkin to do fr e bus-stop to e sch..

heh,im lazy><

and aft losin my pouch which contained my bunch of keys,2 phones n earpieces for 2 days,i realised quite a no of things as a result of it..

1)e power of prayer

2)zhi you shi qu,cai dong de yi qian suo mei zhen xi de dong xi de jia zhi

2008-12-03T22:47:00.000+08:00

a week plus has passed..

i suddenly feel very shack..no doubt my mind has been damn occupied..

but im now wonderin if its worthwile or not when sickness seems to envelope me juz coz i scream too much le;/..

and luckily,this morn only had 5 children,e rest went for excursionXDXD..

i was still kinda worried tat there wld be ten plus..partly coz im havin mood swings coz of ;x,i juz feel like im highly irritable and easily tired..

i realised tat wat a fren told me some time back is really true..i guess kids these days in e student care are really diff fr a few yrs back..

they really noe how to argue back,how to tease and even bully?..

many a times when im stuck in situations like tis,i juz suddenly rmb ______..

and i so dun like jefferson mann;D..

2008-11-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

its has been more than two mths since i last posted;/

ohmann,i do not wan think bout o or hav anytime to spare in case i start harpin on it..

lols or else i need tissue paper both now and on e results day^^..

as such,i try to pack myself full of activities..

i rather die of exhaustion then thinkin too much..

it has been two days since im workin at e stud care..tho its a mere four hrs and it can be damn borin n sian at times..

e kids' innocence and harmless jokes can really brighten up my life at times..

i suddenly found myself wonderin when did i really start to learn e meanin of sarcasm n even usin them..

these kids,seem like sarcasm does not exist in e world..

one even innocently asks:wat's sarcasm?and tell me in english..

but kids being kids,they can be frustratin at times when u hav a bad headache and e last thing u wan is for them to do sth tat u dun wanna do..

like playin with my hair-.-

I SUDDENLY MISS MY STUDENT CARE DAYS..

pick-up sticks,uno,heart attack,sleeping time,my pink jacket tat can be folded into a pillow,board games,and those love stories and crushes(which does not involve me;D)

but kids these day hav a diff set of games with all e cool gadgets..

psp

nds

i still like e times when a grp of us will circle around to play those games tat can involve more ppl,makin it e more e merrier..

unlike now,when quarrels become more common about whose turn to play e gadget..